A friend of mine once asked me a question. "If you had a superhuman abiltity, what would it be?" I thought of some of the common abilities I knew, superhuman strength, control over the elements, mind control, flying abilties, super speed, and I couldn't decide which I wanted most. Finally, I said I wanted the ability to read minds. When I chose this, I was thinking about the hidden thoughts that people have. I wanted to know how people truly feel about things, particularly about me. Some or should i say most people would say or have said something that was different from what they thought. It may be out of politeness or just lying but, the fact is, they are not saying how they truly feel. I want to know badly how people thought about me. Everytime someone makes a comment about me, I would wonder, is this really what they think about me? I would imagine them saying bad things about me behind my back. Even when they say something good about me, I would imagine them holding back some bad comments. Maybe it's because I have many bad points which I am not hearing from anyone. I want to know how others feel about me so that I can change for the better. And yet, I thought, what happens if everyone thought bad about me.... the ability would then be a curse instead of a gift.
When I thought about the question again, I realised I didn't want the ability read minds, but rather, the ability to travel through time. I don't want to use this ability to travel back in time to learn about the history of mankind or the creation of the universe so that I can become a historian. I also don't desire to use this ability to travel into the future and find out about the fate of mankind. I have only one reason for wanting this ability and that is to travel back through the history of my life and right the wrongs which I have committed. The regrets that I have gathered over the few years of my life are gnawing at my heart and the hole that they have created is becoming bigger as the seconds go by. Some regrets are minor while others are worse but as a whole, it is like an ache which never goes away. The regrets that I have are almost always on my mind. Sometimes I would forget about them but in moments such as this, it would be as clear as the day itself. I could have done something about it but I did not and now the regrets have come to haunt me like a ghost from my past. The things that I have done may be like nothing to some people and horrible to others but to me, I find them unforgivable. "Why did I do this?", I would ask myself and I would receive no answer. What I feel bad about is the people who were affected by the choices I made. An "antidote" to this "corrosive poison" would be the ability to travel back in time. But then this is just an unattainable dream and I can never undo what I have done. It's the knowledge that I can never undo what I have done which hurts me the most. And the regrets continue to fester in me...
